Omg best thing I’ve ever seen
I love how everything is hinted subtlety and then the last one is just
why dont these words rhyme
but for some god forsaken reason pony and bologna do
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit
$80 for eye shadow???
is it made out of unicorn shit
what is naked 3
why is it called naked
will it make her look naked
why is it $50
that’s 50 cheese burgers
i can’t deal with make up good bye
i keep losing everything except weight
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs.
So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.
So what’d they do?
They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!
The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS
this post just got so much better
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST
someone was having trouble
DEVENDRA BANHART by LAUREN DUKOFF for L`UOMO VOGUE.
Married life with Ellen and Portia.
Dad jokes brought to you by Rick Grimes